So, you know. I am not disillusioned about the state of affairs when it comes to my work. I really am atrocious at keeping schedules, keeping interest strong enough I fight through bad habits and fighting against technological challenges . However, I want everyone to know I really do cherish the idea and want to put more into it. I want to grow and get better and expand my field of expertise.
I love the idea. It’s not about telling me I should. This is something I am interested in, want and can see myself doing more in the future. Yet, I am still a *uckup. I definitely continue the trend of mistakes and air-headness.
This last week I had to fly back from Montreal to South Florida for 2 months and not even thinking I forgot my mike. No excuses. It wasn’t important enough for me to remember at the time to pack it. Now, I sit here at home and am forced to realize that making excuses and just trying to ‘improve’ isn’t enough anymore.
I am 23 years old. Sitting here and saying that I have great ambition and potential isn’t enough anymore. There is no excuse to not follow through or actively move towards my goals.
I have seen many people close to me live their lives in excuses and falter with the emotions of such a reality. Living in disappointment isn’t what life is about. Making mistakes and stumbling through your journey is a thousand times better I guess.
So, here and now. I will say this to you: I am forcing myself to change.
With two months off from school the only thing I will do is focus on my health and my work. I will force myself to instill new habits and productive routines. I will on every Saturday without fail put out a podcast episode. Season 1 will be completed as a trial just as it was supposed to be. AND I promise to myself that I will fight the demons that swarm in and around me to let myself be happy.
My Little Crows, shall we truly Murder Once Again?